I just realized...
I really like foreign women....women with accents. I want one. The cultural difference would be interesting, I think. Just a thought....
YouTubes Pissings
The Tubes has been rather crappy lately....I'm thinking the lure of its' mystique' is wearing off....combine that with the fact & frustration of personally being UNcreative......plus the always confusing realization of HOW some people just "shit" on a paper plate and they get thousands of views.
I'm glad I'm just small enough on YouTube that I can enjoy my anonymity....but it sure would be nice to be noticed every once in awhile......let's say, every few months or so.
I'm not an attention whore. I don't want to be famous, I'm just here to meet new friends, laugh and have a good time and occasionally be a little creative.
Once Again....
Here I am writing again about how I just haven't been in the mood to make or post anything creative on YouTube or this blog. It's been happening more and more frequently lately and I just don't know why.
I feel like I need to take a HUGE break from being online....(again?)
I've got a couple of projects in the works for videos but I just haven't been inspired or in the mood at all to work on them.
I spent alot of time doing the Special Car Care video only to find that it didn't go over as well as I thought it would. I do enjoy making the videos for myself but I though that it would have gotten more views than it did. It doesn't matter I guess. I think it's great. I do want to thank all of my LOYAL subscribers who make the comments and such.....you guys are great.
So I guess I'll be back in a few weeks.....or longer. See you then. Take care.
Howard The Duck Soundtrack
Just as corny and as cheesy as you think it would be...This is recorded from vinyl, it's not a perfect recording, but it's a tolerable listen.
Check out the smooth jazzy sound of the saxophone in "Lullaby of Duckland"
http://rapidshare.com/files/89796805/Howard_the_Duck_Soundtrack.rar
I'm NOT!
So it recently occurred to me that after manipulating these photos from the internet in my Paint Shop Pro , that someone may wrongly misconstrue my artistic visions as a sort of "stalker" mentality. As someone who may have delusions of grandeur about his relationship with his subjects of art.
I assure you that just because I have used these photos and created something colorful and pretty....I am in no way obsessed with these people or their image or who they are or anything about them.
I do not want them as a girlfriend, I do not want to sleep with them, I do not do freaky things to myself undercover of darkness while looking at their image. I do not personally know them and I certainly wouldn't consider them my freind. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't WANT to be their freind, that merely means that I fully realize that I am just a casual internet acquaintance, if I can even go as far as to say that...
Plain and simple....... I just think they're cool. For various reasons here or there.
You're a FREAK!
To the homosexual man who pretended to be my freind and praise me on how great my videos were and how I had such a great sense of humor and wonderful outlook on life.
It didn't bother me that you were a gay man, I'm secure enough in my sexuality to have gay men as friends....in fact, I used to have a gay room mate for four years, so a casual acquaintance online with a homosexual man really wasn't any big deal.
But two days ago, when I anonymously & mysteriously received a direct link to you masturbating on a bed (two separate camera angles) while smoking a cigar, I felt worse than I did when I watched the 2 girls and 1 cup video.
Don't you know that you shouldn't smoke in bed?
Drew Barrymore
Natalie Wood
James Dean
SquiggMonster
Talknerdytokim
Lemon Sun
Spricket24Cartoon Beating
I work with Mike.
Mike's nickname is "Superfoot"
Mike has big feet.
Mike got mouthy today.
I threatened Mike with a cartoon beating.
He wouldn't shut his mouth.
Mike got a cartoon beating.
Poor Mike.
Poor, poor Mike.
Enough For Awhile...
YouTube. I just haven't felt like filming anything. I get these great ideas at work but when I get home I just don't have the inspiration to follow through.
No one inspires me anymore. I remember watching Sarah Parent (xSJPx) about a year and a half ago and she captivated me so much, I just WANTED to make videos. That girl had so much energy, it was addictive.... Sadly, she no longer makes videos.
Sometimes I wish I could drive over to a friends house and hang out.......but I'm 150 miles away from family and friends.
Boredom is off in the distance...I see him riding his dark horse closer and closer.
Just wait till he gets here.
Then I'm gonna throw a cream pie into his face and start laughing hysterically. That bitch.
Crazy
Watching American Idol tonight I was once again reminded of how CRAZY people actually are...at first I just started laughing, and then I just felt sorry for them.
The strange thing is...the crazy people don't even realize they ARE crazy. They don't even have a clue, it's like they can't see the obvious right in front of their face.
DO the people that audition for the show realize what the judges are looking for? If you weigh over 300 pounds, you BETTER have one kick ass voice........if your face could peel the paint off of walls, you BETTER have a voice to wow the judges.
I don't think the judges are harsh enough. Having to sit through the thousands of people auditioning when most of the singers are terrible, would be just a horrible job.
This competition is not for the faint of heart...if you can't sing, and the judges TELL you "you can't sing", don't start crying because you've been hit with the cold hard truth. Suck it up and get lost. You shouldn't even have been there in the first place. I'm sure you have family or friends who can clue you in as to how shitty you sing.
Cheers to Simon for having the balls to call it like it is.
I Love My Paint Shop Pro
Kimberleigh
So for some reason, I've had this urge to create lately in my Corel Paint Shop Pro...I finally figured out how to do a FEW things and I like the results.
What do you think?
(I hope you don't mind that I used your image Kim or Bryony)
What's the big deal?
I'm at work on Friday and I tell the guys that I take my driver's test on Saturday morning. (I had some unpaid traffic tickets from Indiana and Ohio wouldn't renew my license until they were paid for...needless to say it took me six months to save up the money to pay for them,by that time my drivers license had expired...hence, the reason for the driving test.)
Scotty seems to think that I could easily get nervous, and proceeds to tell me that he is going to show up at the driving test office in a dress wearing lipstick, cheering me all the way with his pom pons....
I advised him that something as easy as a driving test was small potatoes, even if he was there in a dress.
I started to tell him about the time when I was in high school radio lab, my buddy and I, Jeff Cox,had an after school radio show for a few hours everyday after school.
It was an everyday occurrence to try to make the other person laugh while we were "on the air".
Each room was probably less than 10 feet by 10 feet, and the walls were all glass partitions, to make each room soundproof....you could see what was going on in the other room, but you couldn't hear anything.
One day I was reading the news as usual "on the air" and Jeff C came up to my window in the opposite room from me and drops his pants. I could see through my peripheral vision that he still had his underwear on, so it didn't phase me a bit, I continued reading the national news with missing a beat.
Since this was after school hours, and there was hardly anyone around in the school halls, this gave us alot of freedom to do whatever we wanted in the radio lab....obviously if someone is dropping their drawers, there is no question about how much freedom we had.
So he decides to take it one step further, mind you, I'm still reading the news "on the air" and he steps right up to the glass window that separates us and pulls down his fruit of the looms.
Right there in front of me....dangling away in the breeze...
there it was...
well, it sure looked breezy, but I actually think it was him shaking his manhood in front of my face, only separated by a half inch thick piece of glass.
Allrighty, I snickered a little bit, but I didn't break into full laughter, and the national news report was read without too much of a glitch.
That's the sort of sense of humor we had when we were eighteen and I'm sure it hasn't changed much since then. I still find it hilarious when I see a cartoon penis.
I'm not gay, I just find it funny. Call me a weirdo, whatever...the sight of a cartoon penis or even another man's penis doesn't offend me in the least. I am secure enough in my sexuality not to be offended by another man shaking his penis at me separated by a sheet of glass. We all had a good laugh and that was the end of it.
Another guy I work with, I won't mention his name, because I know some of the work guys visit here from time to time...but they know who he is... He was actually more offended by me telling this story to him,than me when it happened to me twenty two years ago.
He asked me if I was gay. I told him no, I wasn't gay.
He told me that it was "unacceptable" what had happened and that I should be greatly offended . He asked me if I was still friends with this person, I said "yes"...he was shocked.
It's only a penis....and we were separated with a pane of glass.
It was funny, and I still laugh about it to this day.
What's the big deal?
Yep...
This particular cartoon is something I drew after Bubba brought some fried fish into work...the fish was in really small pieces and he wouldn't tell me what it was before I ate some.
He opened the plastic bag and shook it at me..."try some" he says. It looked like small pieces of fried fish to me, about the size of a quarter...so I ate a couple. It tasted like fried fish. I then asked him what it was...."What was it I just ate? It wasn't anything weird like FISHBALLS was it?" He just laughed and said "No, it was fried walleye face."
What? Fried walleye face? "Yeah...that little part of meat right below the fish eye." he says..."didn't you notice how tender and soft it was?" I'm thinking to myself...tender and soft? I just chewed and swallowed it, I didn't savor the flavor and texture of it. Fish is fish, I don't get a hard on from the flavor.
You really got to be a fish flavor fanatic if you take the time to cut the piece of meat the size of a quarter, right below a walleye eye, bread them and then fry them up, and then bring them to work so the guys can sample some.
High School Confidential: part 1
Every morning was pretty much the same routine in high school... and after a while things can get sort of boring. From time to time we would try and amuse ourselves in different ways.
Jeff & I would take turns driving to school, trying to beat the other 400 students who drove into the parking lot, to get the prime spot close to the front door. We would separately go to each of our lockers, get our books and drop our coats off, and then immediately head down the back hall next to the lunch room.
This particular hallway which ran parallel to the lunch room had a chest high portable shelf on wheels that was about ten feet long, sitting along one side of the hallway wall. This shelf was for students to put their books and/or book bags while they ate lunch...when lunch was finished they would return and retrieve their books, book bags and personal items, continuing on to the next class.
The reason for heading down this special hall in the morning was to periodically check the shelf for abandoned books left unattended.
It came to our attention, after traveling down this hallway numerous times, that leaving books unattended from the previous day was actually getting to be a problem. Both Jeff & I were witnesses to this growing habit...day after day we would see two, three, sometimes even four books left helplessly unattended and abandoned upon this portable shelf, as if stranded in the dry desert gasping for even the tiniest drop of water.
It was because of witnessing these horrible tragedies of neglect, that a special committee was created unbeknown to the students of Huntington North High School...a sort of secret society keeping tabs on these so called "abandoned" books. This underground club was dubbed the name "Hall Patrol". The duties of Hall Patrol were to serve and protect abandoned books, deserted folders, neglected book bags and just simply forgotten personal items.
If you happened to be one of the lucky victims of the Hall Patrol and forgot to retrieve anything on this shelf of yours from the previous day, you needed not to fear or worry...all would be taken care of.
Hall Patrol would gladly liberate, confiscate and transport your personal item to the safety of the men's room. There it would be gently and carefully placed into a secure and private porcelain receptacle, a sort of bowl, if you will, for safe keeping. After placing your personal abandoned and deserted item into the porcelain safety bowl, it was thoroughly cleansed with cool, chemically sanitized, clean water to assure that no germs and/or bacteria had infected it.
I know for a fact that many students were protected and served by this fearless, brave & noble underground secret society, some of them more than once.
Although they never knew their interests were being protected, students like Donnie Bruce & Bruce Schoeff owe many a thanks to.....
.....The Hall Patrol.
I work directly across the line from a guy who told me a serious but hilarious story yesterday.I tried to keep a serious face when he was telling me the story, but I just couldn't keep it for long. The story is just too bizarre NOT to laugh.
His wife owns a horse. With her two young daughters she takes this horse to different shows across the state and shows this horse at competitions, so I assume that it's not a "riding" horse, it's a "lookin' at" horse.
His wife was a little upset from the previous day, it seems that the caretaker of the horse farm where they have the horse boarded at, had called her to inform her of a little problem. They all piled into the truck and drove to the horse farm where they were provided the details of the situation of what had happened.
There was an accident involving her horse.
The horse's tail is missing.
The ENTIRE horse's tail.
The caretaker begins to tell the story and that she had no idea what had happened...no one seems to know what had happened, it's all a mystery to them.They looked all over the property for it and no one can seem to locate the missing tail. They questioned her about how this sort of thing could have happened...did it get caught in a fence or barn door? if it did get accidentily ripped off, would the horse or other horses, eat the tail? Did it get burned off, or was it stolen by vandals?
They also talked to a veterinarian who examined the horse...he was also puzzled at what had happened. He had no answers either...but in the line of questioning they did find out that it isn't that uncommon for horses to be victims of vandals...he did say he has seen horses tails being cut and/or stolen before...he even said he had seen a horse spray painted one time. Vandalism. In the world of horse showing competition, this sort of thing happens from time to time and more frequently than you would imagine.
I guess all that was left was a bloody stump.
After hearing this story, and holding back my laughter, I, being always the smart ass, offered some advice to my co-worker. "You know if you head on down to the Farm Barn Feed & Supply store, I'm sure you could find a sort of 'Horse Tail Toupee' you could attach to your horse's ass" I said. It was meant only as a smart ass joke but apparantly I wasn't too far off...they actually HAVE these sort of things and they had talked about getting one. The cost for one of these "horse tail toupee's" was around two hundred dollars, and then you have to pay a veterinarian to weave the toupee onto the remaining horse tail...and then there was no guarantee that it would even look authentic.
They won't be able to show this horse in competition anymore, not until the tail grows back...thats if there is enough tail remaining for it to even grow back.
What's really funny is the guy who told me this story is balding, and when I told the other guys at work this story, we all started joking about how it was probably HIM who took the horses tail so he could make himself a wig.....
I know, I know......we are cruel, but holy cow....I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.....I know it's serious & I shouldn't be laughing at the misfortune and pain of a defenseless animal....
It's just so freaking bizarre that you HAVE to laugh.
Depressive Thought #672
The one thing I miss about being in a relationship is when the girl would be sitting down in a chair or couch or something...and I would get on my knees and give her a big hug.....yeah, I know it sounds weird....but I really miss that.
Somedays I just need a fucking hug. 
and I'm long overdue...for a real one, not those chat hugs that are typed out onscreen. ( you know what I mean: ***HUGS*** )
High School Confidential: part 2
I don't know what I was thinking when I was in high school. I think I must have been a complete idiot to not see something like that coming. I guess when you're young and stupid you do crazy things.
If anyone has seen the movie "Napoleon Dynamite" you'll recall there was a scene where Napoleon & his buddy Pedro, want to ask these girls out for a school dance, but they have to ask the girls in a creative way. Pedro, decides to ask his girl out by baking a cake and writing on the cake "will you go to the dance with me, signed Pedro" or something to that effect. They place the cake outside the door of where this girl lives and then they ring the doorbell and run off. So now Napoleon is trying to think of a creative way to ask the girl he wants to go with......Pedro suggests that since he has drawing skills, perhaps he should draw a picture of her. Napoleon thinks this is an excellent idea, and proceeds to sketch out a pencil drawing of the girl.
I speak from experience when I say that although this seems like a good idea, it can be just the beginning of a long trek down the road of complete horrorific humiliation.
Whenever I had a crush on a girl that I really liked, I would draw a picture of them....pencil sketch, charcoal drawing or whatever.....sometimes I would show the girl, sometimes I wouldn't. On one particular pencil sketch that I did, the mother of the girl I drew the portrait of offered me fifty dollars for the piece. There are pieces of my artwork that I sometimes hid the names of girls that I liked in them. I would write thier names in such a way to combine with the actual artwork that you would never even know it was there....a sort of "secret message" in a way. Sneaky, aren't I?
Linda was the off-beat looking, sort of pretty, swimming pool bleach blonde with the dark bushy eyebrows. God knows why I thought she was attractive, she was no beauty queen. She wasn't in any of my classes, and none of my friends personally knew her at all. I guess she must have been one of those girls that I noticed either walking the halls or sitting in the school lunchroom.
The yearly Christmas dance was soon approaching and I decided to begin my misguided artistic magic to possibly persuade this paint peeling, pageant beauty to accompany me.
At this point in the story my memory seems to fade, unsure of the exact details, I will try to piece together as clearly as possible what took place.
Who knows what the hell I was thinking...but I actually thought it would be a good idea and a good ice breaker to draw a nice pencil sketch of her, yeah...I could do that! ( somewhere along the way, I had obtained a school picture of her and I drew the sketch from looking at that photo). I decided that I would present the finished drawing to her and then proceed to ask her to the christmas dance. It sounded perfectly logical to me...boy likes girl, boy draws picture of girl, boy gets date.
Fast forward to a few days later.
The drawing is finished and I spot her sitting in the lunchroom with one of her friends. I slowly begin my walk towards her when I notice that I'm starting to get tunnel vision. My mind was playing tricks with me and if it was possible for me to walk any slower, I think I would have went back in time. All of a sudden I find myself talking to her. "Can I sit here?" " Is this seat taken?" " Do you mind if I slit my wrists? ".... I'm not sure exactly what it was that I said, but it was something along those lines. After she and her friend exchange "WTF?" looks with each other, I have a seat.
I say nothing.
I pull out the drawing.
I show it to her...........
She wants to know who it is.
"WHAT?! WHO IS IT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!! JEFF, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!! HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY MAD? SHE DOESN"T EVEN KNOW WHO IT IS!! GET UP AND WALK AWAY YOU LOSER!" ( all of this runs through my head, my own conscience is screaming at me )
I mumble something totally stupid but I thought I said something like " the picture was of her, green eggs and ham, and she could keep it, would you could you if you were in a box?" Did I just say what? I quickly got up from the table, completely forgetting to ask her to the christmas dance, and ran off with my tail between my legs.
There is nothing quite as sobering as complete humiliation.
If that wasn't mortifying enough for me, a few weeks later I muster up the courage to call every name in the phone book with her last name & ask if she was there. I finally find the right number and then proceed to again prove to myself that I was a complete moron & loser.
"Hi, you don't know me but I'm a complete freak and I'd like to take you to the christmas dance and embarrass you in front of all of your friends and the entire school." ....I'm POSITIVE that's what she heard me say.....so she told me she already had a date for the christmas dance....but what I heard was "I'm going with Dan, he's really cool and his dad's rich & he's not a loser like you."
I'm really glad that I didn't end up going to the christmas dance with her. She was totally wrong for me. I was the wild & crazy guy and she was the preppy & proper girl....... years later when I look at her photo, I wonder why I was even interested. She definitely was ugly, no doubt about it. I did meet someone else a few weeks later and asked her to the christmas dance, and that girl turned out to be a wonderful life long friend that I still talk to, even to this day.
You have to go through things such as making a complete ass of yourself to sort of learn your way into life. Trial by fire, it's brutal, but you come out stronger and wiser. I learned something on that day..."never crawl out on a limb for a measley crumb".....but hey, everyone knows when you're young and stupid, you do crazy things.
Kitten In A Can (a love story gone wrong)
The trees at my house had just been freshly toilet papered as I brought my new kitten in from the cool autumn breeze. A girl I worked with had just given me my first pet....well, not my very first one, but the first kitten in my new house I had just bought.
I had spent many hours decorating my new house and trying to turn it into a bachelor pad of the 80's. I had finished wallpapering my walls with wood colored drawer lining, and had also added some decorative fish netting that I bought from Pier 1 imports....a few more dried out starfish and a couple of shells and the place would look almost like trailer heaven...except it wasn't in a trailer, it was in a real house.
I have never in my entire life given any of the cats that I have owned a real name...they have all had the same name..."Cat".
As you all know I have a bit of a memory problem so you know to bear with me as I try to piece together the general facts of the situation...it might not be the exact situation that happened, but pretty damn close.
As the party was winding down in the wee hours of the morning, the slightly buzzed people began to leave the house...one by one they exited my simulated trailer bachelor pad until I was finally the only one left in the cozy little brick two story.
I lied there on the couch watching the ceiling spin....I quickly put my foot on the floor to ground myself, but it didn't seem to work very well. I grabbed a bucket from the kitchen and placed that by my side, just in case.
Scratch! skitter! screetch...skitter skitter!!.... meow..... "What the? what the hell is that noise?" I look around the room.....there he was...my damn kitten hanging on my wall. He had climbed himself up my bachelor pad wall hanging on the fishnet, between the shell and the dried starfish.
"You damn cat.....c'mere" I gently grab him from the wall, pull his claws off of the fishnet and set him back down on the floor.
I stumble groggily ( is that a real word?) back over to the couch, and flop down....trying to keep from throwing up. "I'll never drink this much again.....NEVER!"
Skit! skit! skit! scratch! skeeter! skit! skit! scratch!..skit!!! ......meeeeeOwww!
"WTF!! not again!!" "Allright you little furball piece of shit...that's it."
Keep in mind that I'm drunk and I just want that friggin cat to stop crawling up my walls....so logical thinking didn't apply at the time.
My eye catches a large pretzel can, similar to those large popcorn cans they sell on every major holiday, it was now empty and just waiting to be filled with a rambunctious feline.
"C'mere you damn cat....here kitty kitty" meeeeooow....."Here's a nice little cozy can for you" He slowly pokes his nose into the can and sniffs around, I shove his ass into the pretzel can as quickly as possible, slam the lid on and breathe a sigh of relief as I weave my way back to the couch.
Before I even get back to the couch, somehow that kitten had managed to flip the lid up and off of the pretzel can and jump out.
ARGH!! DAMMIT!! I chase the little ball of fur around the room trying to get it into my clutches, but he narrowly escapes me at every turn. Under the couch, under my record album shelves, into the kitchen and then finally he just stops in the middle of the room and looks up at me.
Trying to seduce me with his large sad kitty eyes. "Oh no you don't...I'm not falling for that trick!"
I grab the cat by the scruff of the neck and toss him back into the can.
This time I look around for something to hold the lid on tighter so he won't escape...."Ah HA!" a big scrap book of photos with all of my memories, this will do the trick. I put the giant book on top of the pretzel can and ooze my way over to the couch...
"BLARG!! ARGGLE!! ACK!!!" were the lovely noises and sounds that eminated from my mouth and into the bucket....thank God I hit it...and "damn...I'll NEVER drink that much again!"
Fast forward to the next morning. I feel really shitty and like I've been eating shit and even like someone just shit on me. Ugh...I can't believe I survived last night.
I look over to the pretzel can.
I stare at it for about a minute.
It's not moving.
I don't hear any sounds.
I get up from the couch and walk over to the can.
I slowly take the giant scrap book of photos off of the can.
I'm thinking that the kitten could come raging out like a banshee as soon as I open the lid....so I tip the can over.
I hear nothing. "Hmmm.....that's odd."
I get behind the tipped can and quickly flick the lid off at the same time as I jump back, hoping that the cat doesn't come flying out at me with his claws.
Nothing. Only silence.
I slowly creep around the side of the can as far away as possible....inching my way up and around to the front of the can.
"Awww...isn't that sweet....the kitty is sleeping....uh...erm...wait a sec...ACK!! NO!! HE'S DEAD OMIGOD!! I KILLED MY KITTY!! AAAAAGGGHHHH!!! NO NO NO NONO......what do I do? what do I do? what do I do? oh shit...i killed my cat....oh dam what the hell is wrong with me!! what do I do....I know....I have to get rid of the body....I have to get rid of the body........VINCE!! that's it....VINCE!! I'll call Vince...he can drive me somewhere to dump this body, this cat, this kitten!! OH SHIT!!
Upon the telling and retelling of this story many times thoughout the years, my friend Vince claims that when I called him on the telephone, I was crying. I refuse to believe this although it is highly possible considering I could have been in kitty killing shock.
I don't remember exactly what was said on the phone, but I do remember Vince's disbelief. You see, I seem to have such a reputation as a joker that many times throughout my life, people just refuse to buy into my prankster mentality. I remember trying to convince him that indeed the kitten was dead, and that he died by my intoxicated hand.
"I put him in a pretzel can!! He kept climbing up my fishnet!! He wouldn't stop!!"
I suffocated my kitty! I felt so horribly guilty. I had killed a defenseless little animal. It was such a gut wrenching feeling. I never meant to.....oh GOD!! why did I have to drink that much?!
Vince arrived at the house and we transferred the body into the trunk of his car, still in the pretzel can.
We spent about thirty minutes driving into the country, down back roads, looking around for cars that could be following us.
We finally see a nice vacant spot with no houses in sight...nothing but corn fields for miles.
We pop the trunk and throw the can, kitty and all into the roadside ditch.
End of story.
I'm not proud of being a kitty killer. It was just one of those stupid things that people do, and I can't go back and redo it.
The 1980's
Today I had to dust off my turntable and burn me off a CD from a vinyl album.
You remember those things don't you? They had an "A" & "B" side, they were dust magnets and primitive as hell...but for some reason, they always sounded better than a CD. I guess I'm nostalgic because I used to have a pretty decent size collection back in the late 80's. I must have had over 600 albums and close to 200 "45's".
I was a vinyl fanatic, and obsessive compulsive when it came to the storage and care of them. Every Lp was in alphabetical order, all were inside thier original sleeves and the more valuable ones were sleeved on the outside by a special LP plastic sleeve.
If you wanted to play the LP, there was a certain way that you had to take the record out....your thumb would catch the record as it slid out of the inner sleeve, then when it had came out far enough, you would gently put your middle finger on the center label underneath on the bottom of the record. Then you would put the cover aside carefully and transfer the album to a two handed holding position, with the palms of both hands holding opposite sides of the LP, ONLY TOUCHING THE EXACT OUTER EDGES.
If you at anytime touched the grooves of the record with your fingertips, you would either be shot or hung.
I used to have a huge problem with friends of friends who would be over at my house for one reason or another and want to look though my impressive collection. I would simply have fits if they variated from my album holding technique, and if they put back a record out of alphabetical order, they were never allowed back into the house again.
When your young you seem to move alot from place to place, apartment to house back to apartment.... it just got downright horrible to lug those damn LP crates wherever I moved to. I got the bright idea when CDs started to get popular that I would get rid of all my albums and get them on CDs.
HUGE MISTAKE
They don't always make CDs of record albums, and since I always listen to odd alternative music, it was even worse than I had envisioned it. Trying to scope out eBay for old record albums I used to have in my collection was a cold glass of water to the face. The record in question I was looking for was selling for $125 by some people, they don't make an official release of this CD and probably never will. It was one of my favorite albums of the entire 80's and it just makes me feel like I was alive again, back in the 80's every time I listen to it.
The artist name was Blue In Heaven and the album name was "Explicit Material"
If you ever get a chance to listen to them, which I highly doubt you ever will, you absolutely MUST go out of your way for this experience. In fact I love this album SO much, I will send ANYONE a copy of this on CD "FREE" if you just send me your snail mail address. If you're not sure you would like the music you can let me email you a song in mp3 format...just so you can get a sample of the taste.
As luck would have it, my friend in Indiana that I grew up with saved most of his record collection, now after 20 years, he is starting to downsize...which means he is getting rid of his albums slowly but surely....by coincidence he happened to have the exact album I was looking for, and he assured me that he bought it from me when I was selling my collection off at garage sales years ago. He said I could just have it, free of charge....so not only did I get what I was looking for, I got it for free and it was the exact album that I used to own, which means that there are no scratches or fingerprints....just minor dust particles, but that is always expected with vinyl.
I suppose I have been spoiled with the invention of the computer, when all you have to do is drag and drop the songs in mp3 format into the playlist and wham bam, you have a CD.
I absolutely loved the 80's...but then again, I do have a horrible memory and maybe I just don't remember the bad times I experianced....but when it came to music, I literally would spend hours and hours recording albums onto cassette so I could listen to the cassette copy without having to wear out the records....making hundreds if not thousands of mix tapes over the years for me or friends....you would literally have to "babysit" the record and pause the cassette recorder between each song until you got the next record cued up and ready to play.
So after doing this exact thing last night, that I used to do most of my childhood and half of my adult life, I realized what a damn pain in the ass it really was.
I would have just rather bought the CD off of eBay or amazon.com, if it was within a reasonable price....but alas, they don't even make a CD of this particular album, and as I already said, they probably never will.
The Dramatic Downfall
Last night I had a heated discussion with a close friend about a few different topics.....a few that were mentioned were:
What I want in life...sometimes it takes someone else to point out to you what you want. I had this happen to me yesterday.
Yes, I know I say one thing and then think another, but we all do this with something or another. Specifically I'm talking about real life relationships with real life people. I have been divorced for ten years now and since then I have not had one meaningful romantic relationship with anyone...it's something that doesn't really bother me...I don't NEED to be with someone. Sure, I would LIKE to spend my time with someone I can appreciate and respect but I am completely comfortable being by myself.
Even when I was in relationships, I was not the kind of person who had to be with them or doing stuff with them all the time, I had things of my own that I enjoyed doing by myself. Yes, I would like a female close to my age, who lived within a reasonable distance to me, to occasionaly go out and maybe see a movie or get a bite to eat....have meaningful conversations or even a steamy makeout session on her couch....hell not even that...I would be just happy with the meaningful conversation part.
I don't really do much in my life these days anyway, I get up at 4 AM everyday to go to work, I have my work friends, I draw a few cartoons for them at breaktime, we all have a good laugh and then we make fun of each other, I come home, I do the computer blog thing or watch movies. Then I go to bed around 9:30 or 10.
My kids live in Indiana 150 miles away with thier mother and her husband, I don't get over there very often and I should call them more,but I don't....I'm not really a phone talker kind of person, I usually only call when I have something important to say. I do love them very much and I miss them, but they are at the age now where they have thier own lives and they do thier own thing....it's not cool to be seen with mom or dad, I can understand this perfectly though, i remember doing the same thing when I was thier age. I know it's nothing personal on either of our parts and I'm sure they love me just as much as I love them.
My divorce really messed me up when it happened, I was literally devastated...and if you ask me why I got a divorce I couldn't give you a straight answer. At the time, I worked in a shoe warehouse and they announced that they were going to close the plant...that sucked...after all those job applications I had put out and job interviews that went to so I could better my family and my income...I even told the guy at the job interview, "If there was any chance that i would get layed off, I didn't want the job." He assured me that the history of the company was impeccable and that it just wouldn't happen. Well, it happened. Fuck.
At the same time this happened, I was also working as wedding photographer and making a pretty decent amount doing that...it was small time potatoes, but I could make more in four hours of doing a wedding than I could while working a whole week at the shoe warehouse.
You start to get to know what people are really like when you work in a business where you have to deal with the public. I had my run in with the public a few times in small claims court with my wedding photography business. Let me tell you this. The customer is ALWAYS right. No matter what you say or do with anything even if you perform perfectly and you present them with flawless photos...there are still going to be those people who are just not satisfied with anything.
I witnessed this personally,twice. There was no possible way for me to assure and insure myself that something similar to this sort of occurance would happen to me in the future...so I just gave it up. To hell with it, I don't need the headaches from the public.
It also didn't help my situation at the time that to escape from my problems I would medicate myself with over the counter ephedrine pills. You may or may not remember the "Mini Thins" you would always see on the counter at numerous gas stations or mini marts. They are illegal to sell now, they passed a law about two years ago banning ephedrine from all products, in all states.
I learned to take handfulls at a time and to slowly feel the drug moving through my veins, I liked it, oh hell who am I kidding, I LOVED IT. They were better than alcohol because they didn't make you drunk, they were a stimulant. I perfectly understand how addiction happens and what it is like being addicted.
I would find myself buying them all the time, a bottle of 50 in a day, I would go through them like they were breath mints, it would keep me up for hours even days...I lost focus on what I was even doing in life and with my family. I didn't even care. I didn't give a shit about anything, fuck my job, fuck the public fuck it all.... I just didn't care if I lived or died. I'm sure that had something to do with why my wife left me. That and her mother. Over the years my ex has told me a couple of times that it wasn't supposed to be this way, referring to her and I getting a divorce, I'm sure she would have really liked to work things out between us, but since she lets her mother dictate her life, and since she hasn't got the balls to stand up to her, this is how it ended.
While I was working at the shoe warehouse I introduced this guy to my wife's sister, they hit it off great and they eventually got married. So how does this guy repay me for introducing him to his future wife? Right at the time my wife and I are having problems with our marriage and before we could even begin to try and work things out with one another, this guy introduces my wife to his cousin.
I'm sure there is plenty of blame to pass around here and I'm also included in the mix, but one thing led to another and wham bam, I get divorce papers served to me and they get married in less than a year after our divorce was final. She has always denied cheating on me, and I will probably will never know for sure, but when you are seeing another man while you are still married but having problems, and you refuse to work things out or seek counseling, it's the same as cheating in my book.
I know I sound bitter. I know I want to blame everyone but myself. I did not want a divorce, I had planned on one women for the rest of my life. I'm sure I wasn't perfect. I'm guilty of alot of things, but through all of that shit we went through, I would have never imagined it was THAT bad...SO bad that we needed to get a divorce.
I never thought it would happen, I thought we would eventually work it out. Well, that never happened.... and now that other guy has MY kids and what used to be MY wife and I have to pay child support so he can raise MY kids. Yes, I am bitter. So I guess, I hope you understand where I'm coming from when I am a little aprehensive when it comes to jumping into a relationship with a woman.
The more I think about it the more it starts to creep up on me and my fears....I really don't want to be alone when I get older, or even NOW, I really would like someone around to do things with and to live out the rest of my years with.
The one thing that holds me back is the DRAMA...all of the damn head games that women play...I really don't need another heart break in my life...I've really had it something awful over the years...I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about when you finally give in to your emotions and you decide that you DO love them and you want to be with them....only to have them mash your heart into pulp....yeah, this is awful...I'm not really looking forward to anything like that again.
I would like to think that I'm a straight forward guy who doesn't play games ( i'm sure this point could be argued )...I would prefer a woman who is the same, someone who can just tell you to your face, I don't want this, I do want this, you know what I mean? I appreciate honesty and I can respect someone who is up front and to the point.
I think it's impossible for women to be that way, they let emotions get in the way of decision making and then it makes them do the wrong thing. I'm sure everyone knows the difference between the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do, at any given moment with any given situation, when you let emotions enter into the equation, you are at risk of making the wrong decision. I have made myself into a victim many times by letting emotions take me over and rule my decisions...sometimes you don't even realize what your doing...until after the fact....I'm guilty just as much as the next person....I see a pair of brown eyes on a pretty girl and I just melt into a slab of gibbering goo...."Uh, blorgle barg here's my heart will you please stomp on it?"
I may not know what I want in life...but I sure as hell know what I DON'T WANT.
We talked about online relationships and is it possible to TRULY know someone that you have met online. I suppose you would have to answer NO to this question, but I think that you CAN learn to trust someone completely, just from reading thier words and with conversations online. It's not a perfect way to get to know someone, but it is the next best thing to knowing them in real life or knowing someone that knows them in real life....heh.
Back when I first got this computer in the spring of 2000, I was fascinated with chat rooms and chat people and the different things that happen in chat. I got to be what they call "a regular" in the Yahoo chat rooms....yeah, I surfed around from different rooms looking for that one in particular that I enjoyed... "Extraterrestrial Life" is the one that I finally chose. There were some nice people in that room, and day after day of entering the room and getting to know the different people, I have made what I call lifelong friends. A few in which I totally trust completely and have never doubted anything they have told me. I haven't been there in years but I know there are still people that I know in this room and if I was to go back a few would recognize me immediately.
Yeah, but is it possible to actually meet someone online and then meet them in real life and then continue the relationship? Is it the norm? NO. Can it happen? YES. I have seen online relationships end up in marriage at least three times, and I know for a fact that meeting people online is a great way to meet people to date in real life. The drawbacks are WEIRDOS. You have to keep your eyes open and peeled for people that are creeps and who are just saying things to get what they want from you. I have never personally met anyone in real life that I have met online. I am very skeptical of people who want to meet you in real life after only knowing you a few weeks or even months online. That is NOT nearly enough time to really get to know a person to make such a decision.
When you have screen names like Sexkitten_1981, or Kingcock_69 you know immediately what the person is looking for. Don't give me this shit, oh yeah, they are a nice girl or guy....look, the point is when you put sexual references in your online ID, you aren't just looking for good conversation. You are there for SOMETHING, and you know what I mean.
Allright...I've written enough.
Why Women Piss Me Off
I told you all last week about why I thought my marriage had ended. This week I thought that I would let you in on a few stories about my experiences with women other than the woman in the above photo, my ex wife.
If you're anything like me, you love to hear stories about love gone wrong, especially when they involve someone you know.
Since this is the computer age the wonderful world of dating has been turned on it's ear, since the invention of chat rooms and online dating services. I'm not going to talk about any of that this time, I'm only going to stick to my real life experiences.
There have been only a few women in my life that have really mattered to me, even though I have dated quite a few, most of them lasted only a couple of dates and then I would move on to the next one. Yes, it's true I was usually the one to end the relationship, for one thing or another, usually just some bizarre excuse that I focused on to rid myself of the feeling of being trapped and/or being bored with it all. (Much like the characters from the TV show Seinfeld would do.)
I had just recently started working at Wabash Magnetics back in 1997 and it was only a year after my divorce. The location of my job permitted me to watch within close range as different people would walk up and down this hallway.
One day after break I walked out of the break room, not really paying too much attention to what was going on around me. Suddenly there was this lovely smell of perfume that hit me in the head like a brick, just smelling it sent me into an animalistic frenzy.
There she was, the most beautiful woman in the world, who was wearing a perfume that just made me want to throw her down right there in the pile of cardboard boxes and make her squeeze my weasel with her pork loins.
I was overcome with this uncontrollable urge that I MUST say something to her.
I casually asked her what brand of perfume she was wearing, and even though she answered me with a pleasant smile, I'll never know what she told me because all I could think about was this woman IS THE ONE.
After that coincidental meeting I kept my eyes open, looking out for her in the factory, hoping she would walk by so I could catch a glimpse of her short, stocky and not too out of shape body. Long wavy dirty blonde locks that stood up high like she was in one of those 80's hair bands. Hypnotizing, dark green eyes that always kept me in a trance....and also, one more very important thing....I always seen her either smiling or laughing. She always looked as if someone had just told her a dirty joke. I liked that.
I asked around and found out that her name was Cammy Dunn...that's her real name and I'm using it just for the fact that I want everyone to know who this person is and what she did to me. I wouldn't be at all suprised if some of you who live in my former home town know of this girl.
She worked a different shift than I did, but occasionaly she would work over or trade shifts with another person for whatever reason.
As much as I could, I would go out of my way to make comments to her, just small talk, always something corny sounding but in a friendly manner.
After a few weeks of watching her walk by and seeing her get more beautiful each time she passed me, I couldn't take it any more. I had to ask her out.
I asked her how her social life was and if she would be interested in maybe a movie or dinner. She laughed and then pleasantly declined but a few hours later she handed me a note explaining to me why she said no and that she had just gotten out of a relationship with a guy who would stalk her and follow her wherever she went.
She also wrote in the note that this guy she used to be with would harrass the guys that she went out with, even long after they had broken up. She was intimidated to go out with anyone but she said she was interested in me and included her phone number on the paper. It wasn't her home phone number, she didn't give that number out because of the stalker trouble, but it was her work number at the dry cleaners ( she was working two jobs.)
So I started calling her, we would talk for a few minutes at first, then after a few weeks, it gradually increased into hours, stopping our conversation only when dry cleaner customers would enter and want to pick up thier laundry.
Keep in mind because she lived 25 miles away, the phone company considered it long distance and charged the calls as such. My phone bills would reach over 150 dollars, which, for me, was insane, because I'm not a phone talker at all... but I really didn't care. I just wanted to hear her voice.
She was a country girl and she liked country music, I was an alternative music fan and hated country music, but I put aside my differences and forced myself to listen to country music. Just for her
On two seperate occasions I sent a dozen roses to the factory for her and if you know anything about flowers, you know that a dozen roses costs quite a bit for something that will just die in a few weeks.
I persisted in wanting to go OUT with her, go somewhere, do anything....but she always had a legitimate excuse .... Her stalker ex boyfriend ruined her trust in men and she wanted to take time in getting to know me....that made perfect sense to me. I didn't question her one bit.
After six months of pursuing her, the word got out where we worked that I was interested in her...you know how factories can be, gossip runs wild and free, so & so gave what's his name a blow job in the parking lot while the maintenance man got caught wanking off in the bathroom, there was even rumor of me being gay because a girl who used to live across the street from me who used to work at the Target store peeked into my package of photos that had just been developed and she supposedly seen some naked photos of guys in a shower and assumed it was a fag party, you know how rumors can snowball.
A girl who worked with me on my shift who lived in the same town as Cammy asked me one night why I was pursuing her. I said something romantic about me knowing that she was the one. I was then informed I was being misled and manipulated. Confused, I asked how. This girl began to tell me of the live-in boyfriend that Cammy had and that they have been together for at least three years.
It was like I was hit with a wrecking ball. I refused to believe what was being told to me, and that there had to be some logical explanation.
There was no logical explanation. It all made sense now. She had led me on to believe that we would eventually go out, but only after getting to know me. I had wasted six months of my time pursuing a girl who already was three years into a relationship with another guy. All those phone calls at her other job, the flowers...what did she do with the flowers? She couldn't have taken them home and let him see them...could she? All the smiles and laughs we had at work, all the little notes she would write to me, I had even given her a tiny stuffed bear at Christmas time that she had hanging on her rear view window in her car. It was all a big scam. A big fucking lie. All of it.
I'll shorten this story up a bit by saying, that was where it ended between us. Being disgusted with it all I just gave up, I never seen her again because I unknowingly got myself fired from Wabash Magnetics. I wasn't aware of the attendance policy, apparantly after you reach the limit on your call in days, if you are even one minute late, you get the boot. I was two minutes late and two days later they decided to tell me that I was fired.
A couple of months later she actually had the nerve to call me at home and asked me how I was doing and if I had found another job. I told her yes, and I was making more money. There were some awkward pauses in our telephone discussion & it was obvious there was tension in the air...I finally realized what was happening here and I just told her to fuck off and don't bother calling me again, I hung up the phone and that was the last I ever heard of her.
Fast forward a few months to another girl who's name escapes me at the moment. She was a blind date. I agreed to it because my best friends daughter had a girlfriend whose mother was recently divorced.
We seemed to get along just fine despite the fact she was a little rougher than I like my women, she was a drinker, I wasn't, but i decided to give it a chance and see what would happen.
The very first date consisted of her telling me the story of her and her ex husband and why they got divorced. It seems that (keep in mind I JUST met her)
her and her ex husband were swingers, yes, you heard me right, swingers as in swapping spouses with other couples.
She fell in love with the other guy and found herself seeing him more and more.
I guess it's considered cheating when you are screwing the person behind thier partners back as opposed to right in front of them.
Another long story short here. One night I was on my way to pick this girl up for a date, I stopped to get some gas for my car. I just happen to look over into another car....there was my date who I was to pick up in twenty minutes, with another guy, hanging all over him. What the f ? How humiliating.
Women....they piss me off.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
